Fwd: Retired People. Oldie but Goodie

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Sent from my iPad

Begin forwarded message:

From: "Pat Shumard" <pshumard@cox.net>
Date: January 27, 2016 at 5:29:10 PM CST
To: "Andrea weed" <awsimmental@gmail.com>, "Bridget" <bj3672@yahoo.com>, "Carrie Herzberg" <bherzberg@cox.net>, "Gladys Schupbach" <sissy-gms@live.com>, "J D" <jack_icthospitality@hotmail.com>, "Janet" <dawgbob@sbcglobal.net>, "jlshumard" <jlshumard@cox.net>, "Joseph Walker" <jwalker38134@msn.com>, "Margie Barr" <margiebarr17@gmail.com>, "Mary Jane" <lmeyer004@centurytel.net>, "MIKE" <mlmcarthur@yahoo.com>, "Pat A" <headbookworm@yahoo.com>, "Richard Drown" <rdrown@cox.net>, "Robert McArthur" <rsm0761@cox.net>, "Ron" <rtriper@hughes.net>, "sharon norton" <norton3608@yahoo.com>, "susan Cooper" <slcooper123@hotmail.com>, "tien" <tsoongtotherim@aol.com>, "Tracie Shumard" <mypeanut1218@yahoo.com>
Subject: Fw: Retired People. Oldie but Goodie

 

 

From: Karla Lytle

Sent: Saturday, January 23, 2016 12:05 AM

Subject: Retired People. Oldie but Goodie

 

 

Retired People                                   Questions and Answers
Q:       Where can single men over the age of 70 find Younger women who are interested in them?	A:       Try a bookstore, under Fiction.
Q:       What can a man do while his wife is going Through menopause?	A:       Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can Finish the basement.  When you're done, you will have a place to Live.
Q:       Someone has told me that menopause is Mentioned in the bible... Is that true? Where can it be Found?	A:       Yes. Matthew 14:92: "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to   Egypt ...."
Q:       How can you increase the heart rate of your Over-70 year-old husband?	A:       Tell him you're Pregnant.
Q:       How can you avoid that terrible curse of the Elderly wrinkles?	A:       Take off your Glasses.
Q:       Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet And all those wrinkles on my face?	A:       Go braless. It will usually pull them Out..
\ Q:       Why should 70-plus year old people use valet Parking?	A:       Valets don't forget where they park your Car.
Q:       Is it common for 70-plus year olds to have Problems with  short term memory storage?	A:       Storing memory is not a problem. Retrieving it Is the problem.
Q:       As people age, do they sleep more soundly?	A:       Yes, but usually in the Afternoon.
Q:       Where should 70-plus year olds look for eye Glasses?	A:       On their Foreheads.
Q:       What is the most common remark made by 70-plus Year olds when they enter antique stores?	A:       "Gosh, I remember These!"
SMILE, You've still got your sense of Humor, haven't you?

 

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