Sunday, May 24, 2015

Fwd: A FEW JOKES



Sent from my iPad

Begin forwarded message:

From: "Pat Shumard" <pshumard@cox.net>
Date: May 24, 2015 at 12:11:14 PM CDT
To: "Andrea weed" <awsimmental@gmail.com>, "Bridget" <bj3672@yahoo.com>, "Carrie Herzberg" <bherzberg@cox.net>, "Gladys Schupbach" <sissy-gms@live.com>, "J D" <jack_icthospitality@hotmail.com>, "Janet" <dawgbob@sbcglobal.net>, "jlshumard" <jlshumard@cox.net>, "Kellie Lewis" <vetmedkl@vet.ksu.edu>, "Margie Barr" <margiebarr17@gmail.com>, "Mary Jane" <lmeyer004@centurytel.net>, "MIKE" <mlmcarthur@yahoo.com>, "Pat A" <headbookworm@yahoo.com>, "Richard Drown" <rdrown@cox.net>, "Robert McArthur" <rsm0761@cox.net>, "Ron" <rtriper@hughes.net>, "sharon norton" <norton3608@yahoo.com>, "susan Cooper" <slcooper123@hotmail.com>, "tien" <tsoongtotherim@aol.com>, "Tracie Shumard" <mypeanut1218@yahoo.com>
Subject: Fw: A FEW JOKES

 
 
Sent: Saturday, May 23, 2015 10:02 PM
Subject: A FEW JOKES
 
 
 
Special Package for Business Men

An airline introduced a special package for business men. Buy your ticket, get your wife's ticket free.

 

After great success, the company sent letters to all the wives asking how was the trip.

 

All of them gave the same reply..."What trip?"

 

 

New SIM to Surprise Her Husband

Woman buys a new sim card. Puts it in her phone and decides to surprise her husband who is seated on the couch in the living room.

 

She goes to the kitchen, calls her husband with the new number:

 

"Hello Darling."

 

The husband responds in a low tone: "Let me call you back later Honey, my wife is in the kitchen.

 

 

Cool Message by a Wife

Dear Mother-in-law, "Don't teach me how to handle my children, I'm living with one of yours & he needs a lot of improvement"

 

 

Throwing Knives at Wife's Picture

Husband was throwing knives at his wife's picture.

 

All the knives were missing the target!

 

Suddenly he received a call from her "Hi, what are you doing?"

 

His honest reply, "MISSING YOU."

 

 

Habit of Talking in Sleep

A lady to doctor: My husband has a habit of talking in his sleep! What should I give him to cure it?

 

Dr: Give him an opportunity to speak when he is awake.

 

 

Natural Disasters Just Happen

Nobody teaches volcanoes to erupt, tsunamis to devastate, hurricanes to swirl around and no one teaches a man how to choose a wife. Natural disasters just happen.

 

 

Your Husband Needs Rest

Doctor: Madam, your husband needs rest and peace, so here are some sleeping pills.

 

Wife: Doc, when should I give them to him?

 

Doctor: They are for you!

 

 




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